I've had a lot of people ask how it feels and if my balance is off. My balance is no worse than it was with two big piggies...haha :) It just feels like something is missing...which it is. If you want, you can go stand barefooted on the edge of something...like a board, a sidewalk, anything that has an edge to it. That's what it feels like anytime I am up and walking. It doesn't really hurt to walk...it just feels weird.
I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that there is nothing there anymore. It's amazing how something so small can have such a huge impact on you emotionally...especially when losing something so small has completely turned my life upside down. Considering how well I was doing the first month, I honestly thought that I could deal with this and go on my merry little way....not so much. Apparently, the pain meds I was on gave me the illusion that I was alright. When the pain meds stopped and it was time to carry on with it ("it" being my lovely life), it wasn't so simple and easy.
As I will quickly find out from 4 phone calls, the employer that said they were paying the medical bills but nothing else, decided they were not going to pay the medical bills either. I would have to get a lawyer to force them to do it...and even then, the State of Texas doesn't protect employees and there's a chance I will have $80K in med bills that I have no way to pay. So in a few years when this legal battle is over (hopefully), I may still have to file for bankruptcy. Imagine that...at 38/39 years old, my 18 year old daughter will be going to college to start her life and I just may have to file bankruptcy, which will disrupt everything in mine. At least she is a strong and independent young lady because Mom will not be able to help her.
So here I am....no money, no job because the job market in SE Texas SUCKS! Don't want to move away right now because my daughter is now a sophomore in high school and I don't want to move in the middle of her high school years...she wouldn't adjust well to that. Some kids adjust, she won't. Can't leave her here and move off because....well, that is just self-explanatory. I'm backed up totally in to a corner and that is generally not a good place for me to ever be in. I'm a Ling....we don't handle things gracefully. Fortunately, I have enough of my Mother in me to offset the Ling effect.
I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that there is nothing there anymore. It's amazing how something so small can have such a huge impact on you emotionally...especially when losing something so small has completely turned my life upside down. Considering how well I was doing the first month, I honestly thought that I could deal with this and go on my merry little way....not so much. Apparently, the pain meds I was on gave me the illusion that I was alright. When the pain meds stopped and it was time to carry on with it ("it" being my lovely life), it wasn't so simple and easy.
As I will quickly find out from 4 phone calls, the employer that said they were paying the medical bills but nothing else, decided they were not going to pay the medical bills either. I would have to get a lawyer to force them to do it...and even then, the State of Texas doesn't protect employees and there's a chance I will have $80K in med bills that I have no way to pay. So in a few years when this legal battle is over (hopefully), I may still have to file for bankruptcy. Imagine that...at 38/39 years old, my 18 year old daughter will be going to college to start her life and I just may have to file bankruptcy, which will disrupt everything in mine. At least she is a strong and independent young lady because Mom will not be able to help her.
So here I am....no money, no job because the job market in SE Texas SUCKS! Don't want to move away right now because my daughter is now a sophomore in high school and I don't want to move in the middle of her high school years...she wouldn't adjust well to that. Some kids adjust, she won't. Can't leave her here and move off because....well, that is just self-explanatory. I'm backed up totally in to a corner and that is generally not a good place for me to ever be in. I'm a Ling....we don't handle things gracefully. Fortunately, I have enough of my Mother in me to offset the Ling effect.
It was supposed to be a surprise but after those phone calls, a meeting with a lawyer, and a few other things that I can't discuss, they decided I needed a happy thing for some relief or I was going to add a heart attack/stroke in to the equation. My sisters and Mother put together this Lemons to Lemonade quilt raffle and presented it to me. It's gorgeous and I am so grateful for this.
There has been an excellent response to it and it has also served as a reminded of just how very fortunate I am....I seriously have the best family and friends ever! Even people I don't know, have helped with this. So *maybe* I will be able to keep my little attic apartment, that I love so much, another month. Hopefully, within this next month, I will get the break that I need.....the door that I felt I was supposed to go through will lead me somewhere that isn't so dark and uncertain as it is now.
They are $5/ticket or 5 for $20 and the drawing will be August 30th. You can pay by paypal to [email protected], mail it to 120 West Bolivar Vidor, TX 77662 or come by there to buy them.
There is a Facebook page also..... https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lemons-to-Lemonade/200248670134813.
There really are no words to describe how grateful I am to everyone for their prayers and support....love you very much and I thank you from the bottom of my soul.
There has been an excellent response to it and it has also served as a reminded of just how very fortunate I am....I seriously have the best family and friends ever! Even people I don't know, have helped with this. So *maybe* I will be able to keep my little attic apartment, that I love so much, another month. Hopefully, within this next month, I will get the break that I need.....the door that I felt I was supposed to go through will lead me somewhere that isn't so dark and uncertain as it is now.
They are $5/ticket or 5 for $20 and the drawing will be August 30th. You can pay by paypal to [email protected], mail it to 120 West Bolivar Vidor, TX 77662 or come by there to buy them.
There is a Facebook page also..... https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lemons-to-Lemonade/200248670134813.
There really are no words to describe how grateful I am to everyone for their prayers and support....love you very much and I thank you from the bottom of my soul.